Monday, June 9, 2008

Well, it happened.

It was a Sunday night. The dense summer humidity outside streaked the windows with an eerie dew, and the setting sun drifted into the living room of my apartment with an unnatural sparkle. My roommate and I, fresh beers in our mitts, sat on the cool, black leather couch. We were prepared to watch House -- a TV show we'd been slowly making our way through since the beginning of summer. Being oh-so-tech-savvy, my Xbox 360 game console was setup to stream from my computer, located upstairs, so our only effort in completing our endeavor was pushing the well-known Xbox logo on the wireless controller to get the relaxation party started. And push we did.

But our efforts were immediately squandered. Three lights, all blinking an evil red -- a red darker than the most vile of blood -- emanated from the power button of the console. And thus, my Xbox became victim to a Red Ring of Death. We gaped in horror.

I sprang from my spot on the couch, leaping over the footrests and nearly dropping my precious, precious beer. Maybe it was the A/V cable, I thought. Maybe I just need to reset it. But no. Nothing would ressurect my dead console. I stood there, staring at my collection of Xbox games, my heavily modified Rock Band equipment, my investments. Was all to be lost?

"Maybe it's under warranty!" I exclamed, and ran -- just as vigorous as before -- to my computer and found the infamous Xbox warranty page. They demand a recipt, and this is an item I did not have. My only option would be to face hours upon hours on the phone with Microsoft Technical Support -- also known as "Satan's Earthly Playground." I was doomed.

But I did find a nice website, in between my overwhelming bouts of misery, that offered Red Ring of Death Repair Kits.

And so, I now wait for an Xbox repair kit to arrive at my house, thus making a last-ditch, $29.99 effort to repair my console. Will it work? Only the Gods know.


Well, maybe it wasn't that dramatic. But close. Very close.


*WARNING* Small, angry rant:
Fuck you Microsoft. Fuck you and your inability to create a simple piece of functioning hardware. Fuck you for not being able to create a simple piece of functioning hardware after 3 years. You just lost a fan.

Anyway, fuck it. I'll be heading to my local Best Buy this Thursday to snag a MGS4 PS3 bundle. Then I won't have to worry about RRoD's for a while. And from now on, any games that come out on both consoles, I'll be getting for the PS3. Gamerscores are meaningless anyway.

Oh, and my roommate and I did get to watch House, after all. I simply burned a DVD and put it in my PS2. My 9 year-old PS2. That still works. After 9 years. Yup.

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