Sunday, April 13, 2008


I beat Assassin's Creed. About god damned time, too. Does it feel good? Well, yeah, I suppose it does. I can see what everyone was in an uproar about over the game's horribly anti-climatic (but still climactic) ending. I don't know...after all the time put into that game, the ending didn't really phase me, so, I found myself thinking "Hm, cool, okay," and then putting the controller down.

Assassin's Creed is a game that makes you very, very aware that you're playing a game throughout the whole thing. The story is compelling and all the assassination jobs are really nifty, but everything in between is just...meh. I swear, if I have to hear another peasant tell me that "all of the city will know of my sacrifice," I'll just snap and start flinging throwing knives everywhere. It's stuff like that that games should at least try to avoid. I mean, I could take the gazillion helpless citizens that need rescuing if they each had something different to add after I helped them. But you can't skip those mini-cutscenes. So by the end of the game, you don't want to have anything to do with the assholes anymore. But's just a game. A very obvious game, too.

And I'll still never understand why in the hell you can't ride your horse with any degree of speed ever not once in the whole game without guards immediately saying, "LOOK! THAT GUY IS FAST! HE MUST BE AN ASSASSIN! I'M RETARDED, TOO! SO LETS CHASE HIM ON FOOT EVEN THOUGH HE'LL QUICKLY OUTRUN US IN A MATTER OF SECONDS!" Sorry for the caps, but that's what I image they always said, I was just always out of earshot to hear it--because I got a matter of seconds.


At any rate. It's still fun. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop like some kind of ancient middle-eastern Spiderman. Carefully gutting people in broad daylight with no one noticing. And defiantly throwing-knifing those idiot rooftop guards whenever they tell you to "leave." That stuff doesn't get old. And man it's pretty, too.

Course, the fighting leaves a lot to be desired...the whole "mash one or two buttons for every singe battle no matter what" idea supposedly died with Street Fighter II or something. But if over-simplicity doesn't really bother you, then it doesn't really matter, now does it? Besides, it leaves room for improvement in the 1000000% inevitable sequel.

So, the positives, I guess, outweigh the negatives.

I'm just glad the thing's over with. Now I can start Mass Effect and never finish it until three years from now. Right?

In other news, I'm up to 11 comments as of this writing for the Guitar Hero charity idea. Not bad. Most of those people are my friends, but still, there's 45 bucks announced outright within those 11. And I didn't even ask for people to announce that, so, cool. You should go comment, and tell all your friends to comment, and they should tell theirs. Obviously, people aren't doing that. My guess is laziness, which....I understand. Still. Do it. I want to play through all those games in a day, damnit, and it better be for something.

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